For years I trained my brain to engage in lucid dreaming, I’ve played with hypnosis, NLP, paraliminal learning, photo reading, and other crazy reprogram and expand your brain exercises. Last night I got what I deserved (I guess).
As I awoke, but still asleep, I began to dream that I was programming my body in my brain. I was pushing and popping instructions off the stack of my mind to create my heartbeat, to expand my diaphragm, to push blood through my veins. For a brief moment, I thought “this is awesome”, I’ve finally broken free of The Matrix.
However, very quick I realized that if I was controlling my autonomic functions, if I screwed up on the programming, my heart would stop, I would suffocate, my organs would die of asphyxia. Having this realization, I started to panic.
Mind you, I was dreaming, but aware I was dreaming.
So, I finally said to myself, this is silly, why panic, you can just wake up. But I couldn’t. I tried to stop thinking about programming my bodily functions. But I couldn’t. I tried to stop worrying about injecting the wrong opcodes. But I couldn’t. So then I started thinking, “Is this what happens when you go crazy”. “Will I wake up, insane”. “What if I can never get control over my mind again”.
I always thought going John Nash crazy wouldn’t be so bad, at least it would be in brilliance; but now, I couldn’t imagine being stuck in a world where I knew I was trapped in my own mind, but couldn’t break free.
Have you ever started thinking so much that your head started to throb? Burn? Ache? I felt like my CPU was overclocked, overheating and was about to core dump.
And then I crashed – I don’t remember how it resolved, or how long it went on, but I woke up this morning… a little ragged, with vivid memory of the whole ordeal. Happy to report, that I am still part of The Matrix, and I’m not John Nash insane.
Maybe I should stop messing so much with my brain. Maybe I should take a break from technology.
Nah. Back to The Matrix.