Monthly Archives: June 2016

Breaking free from the confines of the mind… is this what insanity is like?

For years I trained my brain to engage in lucid dreaming, I’ve played with hypnosis, NLP, paraliminal learning, photo reading, and other crazy reprogram and expand your brain exercises.  Last night I got what I deserved (I guess).

As I awoke, but still asleep, I began to dream that I was programming my body in my brain.  I was pushing and popping instructions off the stack of my mind to create my heartbeat, to expand my diaphragm, to push blood through my veins.  For a brief moment, I thought “this is awesome”, I’ve finally broken free of The Matrix.

However, very quick I realized that if I was controlling my autonomic functions, if I screwed up on the programming, my heart would stop, I would suffocate, my organs would die of asphyxia. Having this realization, I started to panic.

Mind you, I was dreaming, but aware I was dreaming.

So, I finally said to myself, this is silly, why panic, you can just wake up.  But I couldn’t.  I tried to stop thinking about programming my bodily functions.  But I couldn’t.  I tried to stop worrying about injecting the wrong opcodes.  But I couldn’t.  So then I started thinking, “Is this what happens when you go crazy”.  “Will I wake up, insane”.  “What if I can never get control over my mind again”.

I always thought going John Nash crazy wouldn’t be so bad, at least it would be in brilliance; but now, I couldn’t imagine being stuck in a world where I knew I was trapped in my own mind, but couldn’t break free.

Have you ever started thinking so much that your head started to throb?  Burn?  Ache?  I felt like my CPU was overclocked, overheating and was about to core dump.

And then I crashed – I don’t remember how it resolved, or how long it went on, but I woke up this morning… a little ragged, with vivid memory of the whole ordeal.  Happy to report, that I am still part of The Matrix, and I’m not John Nash insane.

Maybe I should stop messing so much with my brain.  Maybe I should take a break from technology.

Nah.  Back to The Matrix.