Sometimes it seems (more often than not) it seems like all the time & money & energy is for nothing… We have consistently gone over and beyond getting every single piece of the process done that we had control over as soon as possible; finding the best lawyer there was to offer, making trip after trip out of state, for single pieces of paper, throwing every resource that God has given to us into the battle for our children’s lives & safety…
When I sit back and think about it, I’m really depressed thinking about how I haven’t spent more than a day or so with my family here in Maine on vacation since we started our adoption… every time I take vacation it’s to run to another state to do paperwork, or fly to Haiti… I keep telling myself (because I know it’s true) that when the children come home, it’ll all be worth it.
But we’re going on 9 months into the process… and we’ve been done what we needed to get done (except a couple small papers) since month 3… and I just found out today that there is a possibility that my upcoming trip to Haiti has a high probability of accomplishing nothing (even though it is taking my final full week of vacation I have available, and going to cost a large sum of money, I don’t technically have).
Sometimes it seems like the harder we try the more that gets put in our way… I can say that so far God has overcome all of our obstacles… and the simple little faith that I have tells me He will continue to do so; for His glory… but why am I still having such a hard time letting go and giving it to Him.
Today i stepped in a tar-pit and I’m sinking fast…