darthjedi

Scary…. but he survived….

If you didn’t see it on the news thursday night, my older brother came close to death in a motorcycle accident on I95 on his way home from work…

He was half way passing a Tractor Trailer at about 70 miles per hour, when it veered into his lane; forcing him off the road; hitting the rumble strip, loosing control of his bike, being thrown into the air and landing face down; bike going one way – him going another.

My father who was in front of him on his bike saw the whole thing in his rear view mirror and thought he had been killed.

“oh my God, oh my God” was his words of desperation, which is ironic, as it was the first thing I said hearing that he had been in a serious accident on I95 (I knew he never wears a helmet).

It’s scarey how life can be be pulled away so fast, so unexpectedly, it’s scarey to think this morning when I woke up, that I could have been waking up to a new day without someone who has been part of my life for the last 30 years.

It’s scarey to think that his wife and children may not have had a father if just one little atom was placed differently in that whole accident.

It’s scarey to think that someone might have had to tell his children or wife that he had died there on I95 a little after 4 in the afternoon, unexpected and instantly.

It’s scarey because any day it could happen to me or my father; as we both ride bikes too, and someone would be telling our families in our abscense.

It’s scarey – because he is my brother – and of course I love him.

It’s all scarey, but praise to the Lord that he has survived!

He has multiple fractures in his back and neck, and a broken wrist. He has shattered one ankle and had to have it replaced with hardware as well as his other ankle (which he is still waiting for surgeury on).

His life will never be the same again, but he is alive, and for that I am thankful.

Amen.

University

So – I think I’m going back to school… LoL – I *think* because it all depends on how the financing works out – I think the government needs to realize that it doesn’t matter how much or how little you make – there is still no way to pay to go to school out of pocket.

I still ask myself why I’m doing this – I mean; I can’t get a better job; this degree can’t make me any more money – I think there are a couple reasons.

1) I love to learn – i’ve been reading and studying just about everything I can get my hands on for the last 6 or so years; but I have no paper to show it – I guess i’ve finally decided the paper would be nice.

2) I want a Masters Degree – In Divinity – but I can’t get it – until I have a bachelors.

3) I’m even thinking of a PhD in Philosophy – but of course, I first need the Bachelors, and then the masters.

But the government said, based on my income, I should be able to pay 17 grand out of pocket for this years school – I’m wondering what planet they come from – I could maybe afford about 10 grand; out of pocket; but my kids would have to stop eating… and we’d all have to stop wearing clothes too.

So, depending how the financing works out – I’m going back to school. I’m very excited about it!

At the same time, I’m wondering how anybody in their right mind could afford to go to school… @ 300 a credit hour – for the number of hours it takes to get a Bachelors degree – my school payment is going to be 800$ a month for 10 years – to pay it back. Most schools are more like 400-500 a credit hour – how can a college grad afford to pay 1100+ a month just on school loans …. I guess the idea is, once you start going to school, don’t stop until you can afford to stop. 🙂 [like when you die].

We’ll see….

IPOD

You know, I listen to audio books & lectures (philosophy & religion mostly) – so much; I have gone through like 8 MP3 players over the last couple years; and I finally just bought a car with a 6 MP3 CD player in it – however; i have to find places to drive all the time just so I can listen…

I bought an IPOD yesterday – already have close to 40 GIGS on it (including a season of ALF) – and I’m wondering – how did I ever live without this thing!

Winds of change…

How are you supposed to know when change is good, and when it isn’t? I mean, change hardly ever feels right – until after it’s all done and over with and struggled through…. then you know, know for sure, that it was either right or wrong –

Blown away….

You know, there are times in your life; when people just walk up to you and say something about you that just completly blows you away.

Like, you never even had an idea that they held some type of hostility to you; never even knew they felt a certain way about you, always pretended that everything was cool whenever you were around them.

And then, you walk up to them, one day, and they pull a bat out from behind their back, and just strike you in the head.

And you’re left, dazed, confused and thinking “WTF!?”

Yeah…. that’s life….

My little sister….

My little sister is getting married today – and I’m performing the ceremony.

I just finished writing the vows; they are very good – if I do say so myself (My wife and her best friend agree’s too at least).. we’ll see how the wedding party likes them in just a few hours….. 😉

A couple weeks ago; I spoke my first Eulogy of a very close friend, and this weekend I’m performing my first wedding.

It’s strange to get old….

Flames & Rain

Have you ever watched your world go up in flames – while it was pouring rain?

It’s happened to me 3 times in my life – 3 times I will never forget – and they are etched into my soul.

It doesn’t ever get any easier.

She said she missed me…

“I would tell you I missed you”, I replied, “But how can I miss you, I haven’t lost you – I know just where you are”.

But then, I sat, and contemplated my life, where I’ve been, and where I am.

I turned to her and said, “I do, however, miss myself terribly”.

What I do in my spare time…

Well – I’m always looking for ways to fine tune my skills with computers. Often I’m doing security assessments of web sites and applications; a lot of times I’m disassembling code; writing and reading computer assembly; and lately I’ve been really into Code Breaking.

I have a website that I am posting some of the Cipher’s I am breaking from the book “Codebreaker” – the site is Here.

I’ve been recently writing routines in C# to Encrypt and Decrypt using Asymmetric and Symmetric Encryption Algorithm’s – specifically AES and RSA – I will make them available on that website soon.

But in the mean time, to better understand how Base64 Encoding works (This is very important in the world of computers) – I’m currently writing a raw implementation of a base64 encoding/decoding engine (if you can call it that).

The Base64 encoder – if you’re interested, and you have .Net 2.0 installed; and you have the default CASPOL settings – can be located Here, or you can find it under the above like with the link called “Interlude”.

Yep – told you I’m nerdy.

Why Darth Jedi?

Ok, so Henlin wanted to know why I’m called Darth Jedi.

I originally earned the nickname “Jedi” – because I have a way with the ‘force’ when it comes to computers – I’m plugged into the matrix – not only do I know the matrix – but I can control it. Ok – nerdy – I know – so here is a different reason.

On the surface, it’s simple: part of my job is to break into computers, their systems and their people; I do this; not to steal information, nor to harm, but I do it to discover weaknesses that can be exploited. To find vulnerabilities and attack; and then, when I am done, I analyze these vulnerabilities and attack vectors and help companies fix them.

In order to do this, I have to think like an attacker, I have to think and act like the ‘dark side’; but to be successful in this job, I have to be honest, sincere and above all trustworthy.

I am a perfect balance between the dark side of the force and the light side of the force. I am Darth Jedi.

Now the other meanings are more philosophical, and because this blog isn’t in the category of Philosophy and Religion – I’m not going into it.