Another day in Haiti…

So, I had to pay another 50$ today (I got a little bit of a discount) to drive the three miles to the Embassy.  The drive took almost 2 hours.  We took a little different road than yesterday too, because we had to cut down a lot of side roads to circumvent the stand still traffic.  The car wouldn’t stay started either, so we had to keep popping the clutch, and even had to be pushed once to get it started again.

And even after the 110$ price and a full day of embassy travel (between yesterday and today) and waiting we cannot file our I600a this time.  Christella’s parent’s are both dead, and DHS told Chris to have her Uncle make out her name with his last name instead of her father’s last name.  But the Embassy said that just won’t work.  So now we have to redo a bunch of Christella’s paperwork over, and we also have to get an amendment to our Homestudy stating that we can adopt a child with a disability (Heart Arrhythmia is considered a disability).  So we’re not close to being done – and I will probably have to find the money to come back down to Haiti to file sometime very soon in the future.  I guess, on the upside, we now know these things before we get our papers into the legal system; it should help us in the long run.

Anyone who is reading this blog, please pray for our little girl that the Arrhythmia isn’t very bad, or perhaps not even there.  She is going for an echo cardiogram next week, and will see a cardiologist in June.

David is one amazing little boy, he is so full of laughs and talks he doesn’t complain at all except when he is hungry or he wants to be held – otherwise, he is content with everything!  Not like an American children we’re used to spending time with, they have almost no complaints at all, most of them are just happy to have a belly full and a place to sleep… 

Christella seems to be coming out of her shell, just as we’re getting ready to leave (in 3 days) – today she kept asking to hold my hand, she wanted to sit with me; we even had a couple short conversations.  This morning she even laughed when I tickled her, although she hid her smiles, she didn’t want me to see it.

And yet, her happiness is clouded with tears.  At least once a day she breaks down into full shoulder-shaking sobs.  We don’t know why, she won’t tell us.  She has gotten used to us now, so we wonder if she is remembering her parents.  Christella lost her mom at 2.5 years old, and lost her father a year later at 3.5 years old, and she came to the orphanage starving, at 4.5 years old and 24 pounds.  She has had a unbelievably rough life.  I hope the time for healing has begun, I hope she can come home as soon as humanly possible, and pray that God will reach down and have mercy on her and bring her into our family rapide.

On another note, Haiti continues to amaze me in the things I learn.  As we were driving down the road today I saw two firsts… first first was a traffic light – in fact there are a couple of them in Port-Au-Prince.  While the driving is still crazy (someone hit us today on their motorcycle) there are actually traffic lights once in a while.

Second first was a trash truck.  Yesterday while driving through the town I saw trash ‘cans’ that were at one time full of trash, but all the trash had been pulled out and strewn all over the ground, and there were people with plastic bags picking through the trash and filling up their plastic bags – I can only assume that is where they got their meals from, and we’re not talking about a few people; there were so many people picking through the trash.  And all around them where people with small blankets spread on the ground with corn and onions and mangos trying to sell them. 

We went to the Baptist mission today, Donnie was quite perturbed at the street vendors that were down the road that we went to visit.  They were so pushy, they wanted us to buy from them, they asked, and basically begged, they wanted nothing more to sell something.  We bought quite a few carvings (Have I mentioned how AMAZING the Haitian people are in their crafts and arts); but we only had so much money to spend, and there were so many people that we didn’t buy from, but they continued to follow us back into the compound, asking over and over for us to buy from them. 

I had to explain to Donnie that they have families to feed, and this is the only way they have to do it.  On the way back down he saw people climbing up the mountain with huge baskets on their head full of artisan products to sell, for what little money they make, they do this day in and day out… not a very simple life, but they do what they have to do.

While at the mission it started a torrential down pouring, and we ended up getting stuck inside of an unused monkey cage for almost 30 minutes.  I drove back in the trunk of the jeep – the trunk leaked… What a day.

Tomorrow we should be spending a little time with one of the compassion boys we sponsor.  I’m also looking forward to staying put for a day. 

While here I fixed one desktop, donated one laptop that I brought with me, and picked up two laptops to bring back to the states to try and fix.  I guess even my skills can be useful to help in Haiti.

Another day, another 30 minutes past.  I miss my Brae Brae and Bella, but I’m starting to to feel the sadness that is going to be overwhelming having to leave my two beautiful and wonderful Haitian children, and having no idea when we will be back again, and how they will fare in our absence.

 

Signing off once again from the town of Pètion-Ville.  Bondye Beni Ou, Bondye Beni la Haitians.

Into the belly of the whale….

So I went much further into the interior of Port-Au-Prince today – with a guy I met this morning named Enock.  He was a very nice guy; he spoke Creole, and French and a little bit of English.  It’s surprising how much language that you have studied comes to you in a situation like that.  We were able to communicate quite well… only once did I need help from Alix (our hotel manager who found Enock for me) – when I needed to find out how long until Enock got back.  It actually wasn’t as scary as I imagined, I ended up driving with my windows down, mixing with the people – sometimes even talking with them at stops (mostly to say “No I don’t want to buy <whatever they were selling>”.  There are people standing on the streets selling everything in Haiti – even Air.  We had to stop to have a guy start up an old rickety generator to pump air into the tires of the car I was riding in.

He was supposed to wait for me at the Embassy, but he received a call and had to leave – at least he got me a note telling me that.  When he came back though, he seemed very anxious, and his car was stuttering and it appeared to be out of gas.  I asked him, “Ou bwenzen Gaz?”, and he (knowing that i could speak more French than Creole) rattled off a few paragraphs in French – I didn’t understand him, so I just said a quick prayer – a warrior prayer.  I made it back ok.

The trip into Port-Au-Prince was heart-wrenching… so many times I almost lost it.  These people are so beautiful, not only in physical appearance, but in their spirits.  The air is so thick with poisons, burning plastic, rubber, most cars pouring out black smoke, it makes your lungs burn and ache, you feel like you are suffocating, not only under the heat itself, but under the weight of the noxious fumes.  You try to breath light, which only makes your oxygen starved body cry out for more and make you breath all the harder.  My lungs are in pain… how can these people live like this?

Everywhere there were school children, going to school, uniformed, playing, laughing, while all around them were hungry bellies, and putridity.  Trash heaps piled everywhere, people emptying what looked like slop water out into the streets.  All around were colorful signs painted on the walls, painted on billboards, i don’t think i ever saw a single bare wall, the murals were amazing; and yet, what kind of hope is there for these people? 

A life expectancy of 50; breathing in constant poisons, scrapping to feed families on a little less than a dollar a day.  I couldn’t imagine eating the food being sold and prepared in the market places.  I saw people filling old gas cans and bleach bottles with water – I wonder if they would drink it… something makes me think so.

The buildings were unbelievable, as you drove down the road, you could look over the ‘cliff’ of the road, and see two-three stories of buildings that went down into the ground and two or three stories that went up into the air… knowing that when storms come in Haiti there is massive flooding, it’s no wonder so many people die, in a town with millions of people, many living below grade…

I ache to save my children from their future here in Haiti…  I ache to help those left behind in anyway I can… I also had to spend a small fortune to get into the embassy ($60 US dollars for a 3 mile drive) – and I have to go back tomorrow… so I’m paying about $10 US a mile….  I didn’t have all the paperwork I needed…  into the belly of the whale again tomorrow, but Junior and Chris are going with me this time…

The trip to the beach was just as scary… sometimes reaching 70 miles per hour in a 14 seat van that had 28 people in it, no buckles, roads that were for the most part dilapidated and falling apart (although there was ALOT of rebuilding since the last time we were here from the hurricane the previous year).  Sometimes there were pits and ravines on either side, the roads crumbling into them, and we would swerve around going 60 mph.  Quite a few times we went head on to an oncoming car, at 60-70 mph, and the driver would swerve just at the last second.  Haitians are AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING drivers… American would likely die quickly on the roads over here… I SWEAR we grazed so many pedestrians, and they didn’t even blink…

Imagine, driving through your town at 70 MPH while 2-3 year old children play in and on the street, and they just blink and eye and slide out of the way of the vehicles that do not even attempt to slow down.

Apart from the noxious and poisonous fumes, I saw dead donkeys and dead cows along the road… 

The ocean, however, was beautiful.  Mountains in the panoply surrounding the ocean, mist, bright blue ocean, sandy beach, wildlife everywhere… but it took us 2 hours to get out far enough that the OCEAN was safe enough to play in…

On another note, we found out that our daughter has a heart arrhythmia,  please pray for her that it is not very dangerous – she is going to go for tests in a couple weeks, and then will go for a second opinion in a few weeks after that.  We also found out that our beautiful baby boy not only had malaria, but his GI infection was causing him to have bloody stools and he had dropped so dangerously low in weight, that they had to give him a feeding tube… after a second round of antibiotics he finally seems to be getting better…  Chris and Hal and the HIS Home staff, are amazing people!  Chris was so worried about our son that she used skin contact therapy to keep him with us… 

It makes me weep; I want them to come home with us … I want them safe…  Please pray for our children, please pray for this country, please stand up and do what you can to help.  I don’t care how these people look on the outside, and how well they seem to be taking their “lot in life” – these people HAVE to be hurting on the inside; they HAVE to know that this isn’t how life is supposed to be.  Why should they have to wait to die to taste the riches of life that God has given?  Why?  My 16$ pizza would feed a family of 6 for half of a month…  God, send your warriors!

And please, while you’re at it, heal my lungs, because I feel pain at each breath, and I can’t get the smell of poisons out of my nostrils.

Signing off in Haiti on Wednesday, May 20th, 2009.

Tomorrow is going to be an adventure… (to say the least) – Psa 37:3

So, I’m driving into the city of Port-Au-Prince tomorrow, by myself, with a fella by the name of Enoch that I’ve never met yet, and he doesn’t speak any English…  This is definitely a first for me, and I’m feeling a bit nervous (ok, quite a bit), for more than a few reasons which I will blog about tomorrow night (hopefully).

Alix, the really great manager of the Hotel we’re staying at says Enoch is one of the only guys that he trusts… hopefully that means I’ll be safe…  In a foreign city, by myself and can barely speak any understandable Creole…  … … …

(Psa 37:3)  Trust in the LORD and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

(Psa 37:3)  Mete konfyans ou nan Seyè a, fè sa ki byen! Pran peyi a fè kay ou, viv ak kè poze!

On another note, it was sobering tonight to realize that the price we pay for one dominos pizza (16 US) is a little more than half a months pay for the majority of people in Haiti – boy do we take a lot for granted!

And on that same note, I MISS my refrigerator with the built in ice and water.  It’s been in the 90’s with 90% humidity and each bottle of water costs us 1.50$  and we’ve been drinking a very large amount each day (between the 5 of us).

 

Here are a few pictures…

 

DSC_0055

DSC_0079

The thing that is scary…

Today we called Chris to ask her a few questions about things we can bring to help the Orphanage with, and she informed us that our son has been very sick – has been for almost a month and has lost a lot of weight – but they didn’t tell us… 

I suppose they didn’t tell us because there was nothing we could do but worry (except perhaps they forgot about prayer and intercession?), and we would have not only been worried sick, but perhaps we would have also been calling quite frequently to check on him.  Perhaps they were worried about his ability to make it through – so they spared us the agony of worry and concern for something that was out of our hands and half way across the world… 

I am not angry at all with their decision to not tell us, a little scared, and a lot sad though.  It brings a level of concern that we could be thinking that everything is all right, then get a shocking call without any warning or time to prepare… babies are so fragile… this was one of my biggest concerns about having another baby, the constant worries around health and safety of a child that is so tiny and so fragile…

I guess this is the risk that every parent takes… but we didn’t even know he was sick, how heart breaking is it to think of ourselves as his parent and not even able to have a close enough relationship with him to know that he is sick… sad… 🙁

Feeling stupid funny

Tonight I did something that gave me such indescribable childish pleasure, a feeling that I have not had in a long, long time.  I got on my lawnmower and drove down the road to the neighbors house.  I had this big stupid grin on my face, I felt foolish, and lazy, and embarrassed as the cars drove by and stared at me.  It was so new, and different, and childish and foolish; but it made my night!

 

🙂

Two and a half weeks until Haiti…

I was so very excited to see my children… very excited… and I wouldn’t really have been nervous about this plane trip this time at all, but now we have this Swine Flu outbreak.  What if one of us parent’s going down to visit Haiti picks it up and brings it with us, what if one of the missionaries brings it down with them?  Haiti is not a country in a position to protect it’s citizens from the flu; I’ve been told that a simple stomach bug has the potential (and has) killed many children in Haiti and it’s orphanages…

And what if we pick it up on a plane and bring it back to our children here in the states…

Suddenly, I’m given a whole new reason to worry…  just what I need….

News from our Attorney today..

To adopt in Haiti one spouse must be 35 years of age, and if you one isn’t 35 years of age, you must have been married for 10 or more years.  You must have no biological children, and you must be 19 years older than the child you are adopting.

Herein lies our problem.

 

  • Even though we’ve been married for over ten years, I am 31, Amanda is 29 – strike 1.
  • Even though the oldest child we are wanting to adopt is 5, so Amanda is 24 and I am almost 26 years older respectively, we have 3 biological children – strike 2.

 

Our attorney said that with both of these issues going against us, he would highly recommend us waiting until I reach 35 (4 more years) before we begin to adopt from Haiti, as the probability of our adoption taking an ‘indefinite amount of time’ is very high; and the possibility of being denied is very strong.

When looking at our adoption process, we have already spent months of dedicated time in preparing our family and our home and our paperwork for our adoption of our two Haitian children, and have invested unmentionable amounts of money just to get to the point of submitting our paperwork to the Haitian government. 

We have invested time, emotion and love into our someday-to-be-children, felt the heartache of watching these two little children through the video screen of a computer, and wanting nothing more than to hold them in our arms, to give them the love and comforts that their biological parents could not give them.  We’ve shed many, many tears thinking about how long it would be before they were safe at home with us, and how much hurt (especially our older girl) has gone through in loosing both her parents to death, and wanting to be there to comfort that pain and fill that emptiness.

We knew it was going to be tough, and yet, no one has actually quantified how tough it really was going to be for us to walk this road.  The pain of possibility of year after year just waiting, and hoping; the possibility that even after all this we might be rejected.  The fact that our little children will be sitting and waiting without parents to tuck them in at night during this whole time we fight for their future.

So now we’re supposed to walk away?  I’m left numb, and disillusioned and saddened.  Why would God send us here, just to find a dead-end road. 

Surely we will take His hand and allow Him to lead us, and open doors in His time, in His time.  He has brought us here, He will make a way!

As Antoine De Saint-Exupéry states:  You risk much weeping if you allow yourself to be tamed. :~(

Today’s conversation with our babies…

Christella was a little more communicative today.  She nodded to us a few times, and she waved to Bella when we were looking the other way.  She still doesn’t say much of anything and seems more interested in what all the other children are doing during our time together, but I have to keep reminding myself that she is 5 years old after all – how much fun can she have with a bunch of old people on the t.v. screen…

Little Jedidiah has grown SO MUCH!  It’s incredible, he looks like a completely different baby.  Amanda had to ask Hal if he was sure he brought us the right baby for the call! 🙂

He kept looking at Hal to get kisses on the head over and over again – it was so adorable.  I am very excited to go and see them again; and at this point, I’m almost not dreading the plane right anymore.  Whatever happens will happen, and if I get to see my babies again, I’ll be a happy man!

I’ll steal some of Amanda’s snapshots from her blog, so I don’t have to take any on my own 🙂

 

 

 

Praise the Lord!

 

It’s amazing how the Lord uses unsuspecting people to help Him accomplish His purpose!

A little story for those that aren’t aware: When we went down to Haiti in Feb, we had just had the little girl we were about to start the adoption process with (Julia) taken home by her mother; we knew we wanted to adopt two children (we were adopting Christella too), but we were unsure of who else…

A little girl Fabienne had caught my eye on the sponsorship page from the very beginning and we knew we were going to sponsor her… Chris had told us a little about her and her story was very sad… her parents were both dead, and she had been waiting for almost two years for a grandfather who had said he was going to adopt her, but had then never followed through.

We spent the week with Fabienne and Christella. You’ve already probably heard how much we fell in love with our daughter Christella, so I won’t go into those details here. Fabienne was a lovely, precious little girl, friendly and rambunctious… but as much as we felt love for her, the Lord seemed to be whispering into Amanda’s heart "she is not your little girl"… and it tore us apart, to have to make the decision, but it just didn’t seem right… but we had faith that God had someone out there for her.

In the mean time Chris had already let Fabienne’s grandmother and Aunt know that someone was interested in possibly adopting her, and either way, it was time to make a decision as she could not sit in limbo for the rest of her life.

The family weekend came and went and Fabienne’s grandmother never showed up to make the decision, and we were very sad and frustrated for her.

In the mean time, Amanda called Chris and asked her about Fabienne’s grandmothers response, and also about little David, because she had taken pictures of David, and wanted to give them to his adoptive family. We saw the website which said that David already had an adoptive family. Chris said that David still didn’t have an adoptive family, and the silent little whisper that had been going on, filtered out by the background noise of life sprang to a pounding heart beat… almost immediately it became obvious that He was our second child!

And then, talking to Chris today about her trip to the states for Ronald, Amanda found out what God had been doing all along with Fabienne. Fabienne’s grandmother showed up this morning with the other family members and took her home to live with them!!!

It is amazing how God works and moves! Apparently our heart-beat for Fabienne was just a tool of His to give her grandmother a little push. He put the love in our hearts, and then softly spoke to Amanda and said "she is not your baby"; and then used that opportunity of our interest to show her grandmother how much she wanted her to come home. It’s funny sometimes to see how things are being directed…

We have no idea how things will turn out in the end, but it’s reassuring to sometimes get those small little glimpse of the plan that God has that He works out for the good of "all those who love him"…

Amen!