So – I think I’m going back to school… LoL – I *think* because it all depends on how the financing works out – I think the government needs to realize that it doesn’t matter how much or how little you make – there is still no way to pay to go to school out of pocket.

I still ask myself why I’m doing this – I mean; I can’t get a better job; this degree can’t make me any more money – I think there are a couple reasons.

1) I love to learn – i’ve been reading and studying just about everything I can get my hands on for the last 6 or so years; but I have no paper to show it – I guess i’ve finally decided the paper would be nice.

2) I want a Masters Degree – In Divinity – but I can’t get it – until I have a bachelors.

3) I’m even thinking of a PhD in Philosophy – but of course, I first need the Bachelors, and then the masters.

But the government said, based on my income, I should be able to pay 17 grand out of pocket for this years school – I’m wondering what planet they come from – I could maybe afford about 10 grand; out of pocket; but my kids would have to stop eating… and we’d all have to stop wearing clothes too.

So, depending how the financing works out – I’m going back to school. I’m very excited about it!

At the same time, I’m wondering how anybody in their right mind could afford to go to school… @ 300 a credit hour – for the number of hours it takes to get a Bachelors degree – my school payment is going to be 800$ a month for 10 years – to pay it back. Most schools are more like 400-500 a credit hour – how can a college grad afford to pay 1100+ a month just on school loans …. I guess the idea is, once you start going to school, don’t stop until you can afford to stop. 🙂 [like when you die].

We’ll see….


You know, I listen to audio books & lectures (philosophy & religion mostly) – so much; I have gone through like 8 MP3 players over the last couple years; and I finally just bought a car with a 6 MP3 CD player in it – however; i have to find places to drive all the time just so I can listen…

I bought an IPOD yesterday – already have close to 40 GIGS on it (including a season of ALF) – and I’m wondering – how did I ever live without this thing!

Winds of change…

How are you supposed to know when change is good, and when it isn’t? I mean, change hardly ever feels right – until after it’s all done and over with and struggled through…. then you know, know for sure, that it was either right or wrong –

Blown away….

You know, there are times in your life; when people just walk up to you and say something about you that just completly blows you away.

Like, you never even had an idea that they held some type of hostility to you; never even knew they felt a certain way about you, always pretended that everything was cool whenever you were around them.

And then, you walk up to them, one day, and they pull a bat out from behind their back, and just strike you in the head.

And you’re left, dazed, confused and thinking “WTF!?”

Yeah…. that’s life….

My little sister….

My little sister is getting married today – and I’m performing the ceremony.

I just finished writing the vows; they are very good – if I do say so myself (My wife and her best friend agree’s too at least).. we’ll see how the wedding party likes them in just a few hours….. 😉

A couple weeks ago; I spoke my first Eulogy of a very close friend, and this weekend I’m performing my first wedding.

It’s strange to get old….

Flames & Rain

Have you ever watched your world go up in flames – while it was pouring rain?

It’s happened to me 3 times in my life – 3 times I will never forget – and they are etched into my soul.

It doesn’t ever get any easier.

She said she missed me…

She said she missed me…

“I would tell you I missed you”, I replied, “But how can I miss you, I haven’t lost you – I know just where you are”.

But then, I sat, and contemplated my life, where I’ve been, and where I am.

I turned to her and said, “I do, however, miss myself terribly”.

Why Darth Jedi?

Ok, so Henlin wanted to know why I’m called Darth Jedi.

I originally earned the nickname “Jedi” – because I have a way with the ‘force’ when it comes to computers – I’m plugged into the matrix – not only do I know the matrix – but I can control it. Ok – nerdy – I know – so here is a different reason.

On the surface, it’s simple: part of my job is to break into computers, their systems and their people; I do this; not to steal information, nor to harm, but I do it to discover weaknesses that can be exploited. To find vulnerabilities and attack; and then, when I am done, I analyze these vulnerabilities and attack vectors and help companies fix them.

In order to do this, I have to think like an attacker, I have to think and act like the ‘dark side’; but to be successful in this job, I have to be honest, sincere and above all trustworthy.

I am a perfect balance between the dark side of the force and the light side of the force. I am Darth Jedi.

Now the other meanings are more philosophical, and because this blog isn’t in the category of Philosophy and Religion – I’m not going into it.