They tell me that his story was violent…

So a public school teacher told me this afternoon that in thirteen years of teaching, she had never had a child illustrate a picture book the way my son had, so it had upset her, and she wouldn’t tolerate it. I let her know that in thirteen years, she has never had a child as amazing as my son, end of story.

Here is a little more detail:

The teacher drew pictures of Santa, and he was supposed to write the story behind it.

He started off with Santa not wanting to get up, so a bear hit him over the head with a bell (instead of ringing the bell while standing over him). Then they tried to steal his pants (instead of helping him get his pants on). Next, the reindeer chased Santa, and a dog tried to eat the reindeer, and Santa crashed his sled, got stuck in a chimney and went to jail for trespassing.

All very appropriate to the pictures (if you were to see them) – but none of them fitting the "perfect sheep like mold" setup by public schools. The teacher tried to tell me that it was violent, and tried to use the fact that she had never had a child in thirteen years, teaching 3 sets of students each year, ever write a story like that, and she was deeply disturbed.

Her version of "creative" was when one child said that Santa had to say "Ho Ho Ho" three times before he did anything. I’m thinking that OCD is not creative, it’s a disease – and was left pondering what a sad existence she must have to think that "Ho Ho Ho" is creative, and think my son’s creativity "disturbing". I made sure to point out what a tragedy it was that she never had a child as creative as my son.

I then proceeded to ask her if she lived in the same world that I live in, if she had ever watched the loony toons, and finished my diatribe by letting her know, that without any question, the one thing I will not let public school do to any of my children is to file them into round pegs and strip them of their creativity and their identity.

Other than that though; the school system as a whole is doing very well to help him work through his anxiety, hyperactivity, and boredom regarding the pace of going to public school. They have definitely been willing to work with him at his own pace on some of the issues that he does need to work on, so I have to give them the level of appreciation that is due.

But dampening his creativity, and molding his identity into what they think a "good little child" should be, is something that I will never let happen! Ever!

An Epic Adventure from the dark side back

over the last two weeks, I have been on vacation. Over the last two weeks, I have been too sick to do much outside of the house. One thing, however, we have done, is we have watched the Star Wars movies from beginning to end (most of my children and myself). I have always wanted to do that – but have never really had the time.

It was a great opportunity to spend a little quiet time with my children, for the oldest, it also provided some prompts for him to ask some of those more basic questions of life.

I haven’t watched Star Wars in a long, long time; and for one, I am so glad that the first three were made, as they provide so much important insight. It always felt like the last three were not complete. Who was Darth Vader, what happened to him, why had he turned to the dark side.

As we sat and watched the movie together, the feelings it stirred up had quite an impact on me. I could totally see what happened to Anakin, I could even, in my own mind experience it. I have had things in this life that were so precious to me that I would do anything to keep them, anything. As Yoda said however, greed leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side of the force.

Anakin was so wrapped up in what he wanted, that he didn’t take the time to experience what he had. He was so consumed that it blinded him, and eventually, he himself caused what he was trying so hard to prevent – and then, he lost hope.

“But”, Donovan said to me, “It’s never too late to change”. Unfortunately, it’s much easier to see that from the outside looking in. However, Anakin took his path from innocence, to evil, and in the end, through acts of selflessness by someone else who cared enough for him to give up their own life; he was redeemed.

How much that touches on my heart, as I have experienced that; in fact, I experience that almost every day – it’s like a mini-journey. My children will too.

To often my heart can grow hard, and calloused, and there are things I want, and I’ll work for them at any cost, all the while neglecting those things that are most precious to me. And then, to gain those things most precious to me back, often takes more than I can muster in my own strength.

I am so thankful for the reminder that in the end, there is someone that is willing to help us, and with that help, we are then enabled to choose the good side of the force, to throw off the bondage of the dark side, and to seek redemption.

It was like watching a movie about my own life, just as my namesake – Darth Jedi – a precarious balance between the good side and the dark side. How Epic!

A reminder about Credit Card Companies

Not that I should expect anything different, but it’s funny, when you have plenty of money to spare, the credit card companies are like leeches, everyone is sending you offers and trying to woo you into a relationship.

When they start seeing that money drying up (the 2010 expenses have been unbelievable after depleting storage of excess for the adoptions) – they are like rats abandoning a sinking ship.

Over the last two months we’ve had credit card companies close accounts and reduce balances all without prior-notification – to the point of causing me to have to make unexpected $500-600 payments on a single card as it’s available balance was reduced by a couple hundred dollars.

With other cards, now that we have balances for the first time, they are sending us balance transfer offers with very fine print stating that you will start paying off your lower interest balances first before your higher interest balances. So they are throwing out offers of lower interest so-as to get us to pile on lower interest loans onto higher interest loans; so they can compound interest. The most obvious is when you have credit cards from the same company, same credit line, etc. and they give you low interest balance transfers for the accounts that carry a balance but not for accounts that do not carry a balance. Worst part is, most people don’t realize this is what they’re doing. Sleeze balls!

Little do they know that this is one of the ways I weed out the good card companies from the bad… that in a few months I will pay off and close the accounts that tried to screw me over, and no longer feed them the excessive amounts of money with each swipe at the gas station or the grocery store.

However, it’s always nice to remember that credit card companies are the equivalent of bottom feeding, blood sucking leeches & rats. They should come with a warning label (Note: we will be here for your convenience, but don’t turn your back as we’ll take every opportunity to try and screw you if it looks like we can).

C’est la vie!

My Complaints about Thanksgiving!

Thanks for all the Hardships

Today, I was awoken by my children,

Screaming, yelling and hitting each other.

But far too many children have been silenced,

Far too many parents wake up to the nightmare of longing for

What was lost.

Today, I winced as I climbed out of bed.

My back was sore and my head stuffed with a cold of pure agony.

But reading the prayer requests from church,

there are far too many people who likely wake up and long for

my aches and pains.

Today, we had to go grab groceries (again).

I realized that the dwindling money and rising bills cannot be escaped.

But I remembered bringing turkeys to the food banks yesterday.

There are far too many families who can’t

Go and get groceries.

Today, the calendar glared at me relentlessly.

I know that my vacation was over before it even started, and work comes in three days.

But millions of people have no jobs,

While some might be lazy, or unskilled, or uncaring, too many

Are just like me.

Today, I am thankful for all I have, and all I have been given,

The aches, and pains, and worries, and problems, and suffering and sadness

Because I can’t truly see what I have to be thankful for

Until I have experienced life face-to-face: Nor can you.

Not until we have faces.

To Express Anger for Ignorance

In regards to HR5283, just so we understand the expectations here: These children WILL become citizens whether or not the law passes. The law on the floor will just make it so they don’t have to wait the 2 years to become a citizen, due to the way they came into the country to complete their adoption.

It means that if their parents were to die, they would be treated like their siblings in guardianship transferring to those named in a will, rather than immediately becoming wards of the state. It just means that they can travel freely in and out of the country without fear of harassment, and that they will be treated with the same respect and value and dignity that we, as American citizens, often give to no others, unless they are "Americans". I’m all for becoming a citizen legally, and if we have to wait, we have to wait.

However, as a family that adopted children from another country, I can’t tell you how surprising it is when we hear people express anger or consternation at us or towards us for helping people in another country instead of helping people here at home.

Little do they know that our family is very active in doing both, as are most every family that has opened up to a foreign adoption. And, more than that, I guarantee, GUARANTEE, that probably 90% of the people that make statements in anger over people helping people in other countries, first, live such sheltered lives, that they truly speak only out of ignorance, and second, are likely to be doing nothing to help anybody, but themselves.

When people start to become in tune with the destitution of their own community and country, it’s a natural progression of maturity to begin to see past borders, past gender, past race and color.

Second day away from my family

This is the second day I have been away from my wife (excepting when the kids were born) since we were married almost 13 years ago… It’s quiet, somewhat peaceful, but definitely lonely!

I have only been without the children (except for births) a few times in their whole life, and except for births, it was because we went to Haiti.

The totality of being without my wife and children is very strange – it’s definitely quiet, peaceful, and interesting to not have such weight pressing down (additionally due to the fact that I am not at home, so the million chores that I need to do aren’t on my mind constantly) – but I can say with certainty that it’s not anything I’d like to practice long term… well, maybe a few more breaks from the kids would be nice! 😉

My bucket list

Im thinking that im a pretty simple guy – there is not much i want to do before i die – and in saying that, all the little things like going to Italy or to Jerusalem are all within my grasp at any time I would want to take the risk – but i suppose my list would be simple for things that are somewhat out of my direct control (although not my sphere of influence):

1. Have a carefree day – just one!
2. See each of my children commit their lives to Christ and persist unwavering
3. Dance with my daughters on their wedding days – and love the man they are marrying
4. See my sons feel they are successful in life and have a healthy God-loving family
5. Live to an old and healthy age still married to and living with the wife of my youth

Not to much to ask for right?

The mind of a 5 year old

Late last week our friend Junior from HIS Home for Children came to stay with us for a week. When he walked in and our daughter Christella saw him, she hid, and went off alone and was in tears – such strong tears that she was having gut-wrenching convulsions.

I turned to Junior and said "I bet she thinks you’re taking her ‘home’" – and sure enough – she was afraid Junior was here to take her back to the Orphanage. Once Amanda and Junior (Amanda in English, Junior in Creole) explained that Junior was only here to visit, and when he left, Christella would be staying with us – she brightened right up, and not another word of it.

It was a great confirmation that she loves us, and wants to be with us, but a sad testimonial to how much trauma she has experienced in her short little life.

Family Reunion

The sting of bitter-sweet moments…

Below are pictures of the Hotel Villa Therese that we stayed at twice last year in Haiti, before and after pictures posted by our friend (and Hotel Manager, Alix).

It took me a few minutes to even be sure that I was looking at the same structure – unbelievable. And then, when searching to try and understand how the guests of the Hotel fared, I found this article…

I have heard people, perhaps carelessly, talk about how much “beauty” they see in the ruins of Haiti, but can we really forget so quickly what happened to the lives of the people there, and how this destruction impacted people around the world, once we are home, and comfortable in the safety of our lives?

I have to warn you, that it is absolutely heart-breaking; and only one single story, in a country full of devastation.

While I’m usually someone with a lot of words – there really isn’t anything that I can think to say – just numb silence…

It will always be with bitter-sweet memories that I recall the month that the Lord brought our children home to us.