Inception

A romance that brought forth a beautiful love child, inception was a phenomenal essence conceived of the thirteenth floor and the matrix – I would say, to date, the best movie I have ever seen!

My bucket list

Im thinking that im a pretty simple guy – there is not much i want to do before i die – and in saying that, all the little things like going to Italy or to Jerusalem are all within my grasp at any time I would want to take the risk – but i suppose my list would be simple for things that are somewhat out of my direct control (although not my sphere of influence):

1. Have a carefree day – just one!
2. See each of my children commit their lives to Christ and persist unwavering
3. Dance with my daughters on their wedding days – and love the man they are marrying
4. See my sons feel they are successful in life and have a healthy God-loving family
5. Live to an old and healthy age still married to and living with the wife of my youth

Not to much to ask for right?

Haiti: Making Sense of suffering?

A powerful aftershock today resulted in the final determination that the buildings of the HIS Home Orphanage are no longer safe even to be around. The buildings had to be abandoned. The children have been moved to a local Church down the road.

This afternoon I found this article about a young 22 year old woman who was working with Orphans in Haiti; she was killed when the 7 story building she was staying in collapsed in a “blink of an eye”. Our hearts go out to her friends and family; this story hits very close to home.

I’m sure in the days and weeks to come there will be numerous tragedies like this discovered and reported on. There really is no answer to the question of “why” even when our entire lifespan is just a breath on a cold winters morning. I have to lean heavily on the trust that there is a reason; and all the senselessness of the destruction and death and chaos will someday make sense.

As you probably are; I have been really struggling over the last couple days in trying to make sense in my heart out of all the pain and suffering and destruction that is going on in Haiti right now. I can’t make any sense of it, no matter how I try.

I’m not really sure if there is any way to make sense of it, as we are looking through a small telescope at the vastness of the universe of time, we can only see one small moment in one small area of space.

I was reminded today, in the midst of this agony of heart something I read by C.S. (Jack) Lewis, regarding the problem of pain and suffering in his book, The Great Divorce. I thought I would share.

It really brings no consolation for a broken heart: but it at least can remind us, that there is a God-view that we cannot see – and we must remember to trust and have faith.

“‘That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, ‘No future bliss can make up for it,’ not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say ‘Let me have but this and I’ll take the consequences’: little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man’s past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man’s past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say ‘We have never lived anywhere except Heaven,’ and the Lost, ‘We were always in Hell.’ And both will speak truly.’ – C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34864920/ns/world_news-haiti_earthquake/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34879803/ns/world_news-haiti_earthquake/

http://mollyinhaiti.blogspot.com/

Update on our Children & Haiti

From what we have heard so far, both David and Christella are ok.  The orphanage is ‘ok’, the buildings did not collapse, but they are unstable and everyone has been sleeping out on the ground.  Adoptions are at a standstill (obviously), and it’s likely that our paperwork has been destroyed as it was just delivered to the IBESR right before the earthquake.  At a time when the need couldn’t be greater to have these children safe & home, unless God will intervene on all of our behalves, things are looking very bleak. 

We have written letters to Senator Snowe and Senator Collins and the Office of International Children’s Issues to ask for the possibility of Emergency Humanitarian or Refugee Visa’s – but we are not sure if that is even an option.

We know of so many buildings that have collapsed, and some of the people we know and have met are among the casualties – but we do not have much more information than that right now. 

Due to the decrease in food, water, no electricity, likely no working sewage system, and the issues that will come with so much of the death and destruction – the worst is yet to come.

We are working on pulling together donations from local stores of non perishables and money, and we will be bringing them to Boston to fly out with the formula on Tuesday – Pray that we will be able to help make a difference in this endeavor.

l’Institut du Bien-être social et de recherches

As I was about to put down the computer for the night, I received a “blip blip” from our Lawyer on Skype who was down in Haiti working at l’Institut du Bienêtre social et de recherches.  l’Institut du Bienêtre social et de recherches is also known in most adoption circles as IBESR, and is the “Social Services” of Haiti. 

IBESR is the monumental first step of the adoption process – and we have just entered it!!!!  Our journey has just officially begun; and our most worrisome point is still to come that is the Haitian National Palace where we shall petition to receive a waiver to adopt (despite the fact that we already have biological children, and we are under age 35).

Any parent reading this blog will perhaps understand what it might be like to have your children separated from you and be so far away, out of your loving arms and protection, but worse, that it is not within our power to bring them home.  I’m not sure what it was, but in Church this Sunday both Amanda and I broke down as we started to sing “Knowing You”, we both almost had to leave the sanctuary as we had a hard time pulling ourselves back together.

So – we have just officially, after a full year of preparing with paperwork, started out on the long, long journey of adoption.  Our daily family prayer is that God will empower and guide Clifford (our lawyer) to work efficiently in the legal system to bring our children home, and that God will strengthen Chris, Hal, Junior and HIS Home with the ability to provide the love and protection for our children while we are separated from each other.

And if you have it in your heart, for us, please bring this request before the throne of The Almighty. 

Little and Big Miracles…

 

What Faith Can Do – Kutless

If you close your eyes when you walk the road of life; you may miss a lot of little miracles, sometimes overshadowed by the big ones!

 

From: HIShomeforchildren@yahoogroups.com [mailto:HIShomeforchildren@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of ******@comcast.net
Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 2:52 PM
To: HIShomeforchildren@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [HIShomeforchildren] double praises

I just wanted to share with everyone how GREAT our God is. I am sure as you watch the news you have seen the bomb attack on the airplane in Detriot?  My cousin and his wife were on that plane. They were on their way home from Ethiopa with their new daughter they adopted! So God stopped the bomb and brought a new little girl into our family on CHRISTmas day. What a Blessing.

Praying for great adoption news for all of us this up coming year.

Happy new year,

Natalie

This is the house that Jed built…

This is the mouse that lived in the house that Jed built… but let me not get ahead of myself.

We built a house out in the country in the middle of a great big field – and needless to say we have been fighting the introduction of field mice into our house since we first moved in.

Our house is a two story ranch; the first floor is exposed on 3 out of the 4 sides, and we have always been able to contain the mice to the first floor (at least neither we nor our cat have found evidences of mice on the second floor).

image

However, over the last couple weeks we have been seeing indications from our cat Zia that there could be mice in the upstairs part of the house now. 

As a quick aside, Zia is another animal all together; we warn all friends and family that come over that she is a little schizophrenic; she can be sweet and loving, and begging to be pet one second; and then the next second she will dig her claws into you and claw & bite.  No one ever believes us; until after they have been hit.  Zia is a royal pain in my rear – even though I’m the only person in the house she doesn’t dare to attack – however; she still has some value as a mouser apparently.

Anyway, yesterday was the first time we actually saw signs of the mice upstairs (mouse poop in a drawer) so the war began.  While we believed there was more than one mouse, we only had one trap – and so we set it.  Here is where the story really begins though.

This morning we were woken up to Braeden saying “Oh that’s cute, Zia has a toy mouse”; and it was then followed up with something to the effect of “Bella throw Zia her mouse” (I couldn’t quite hear, because I sleep with earplugs on mornings that I don’t want to wake up at 6 AM by our children).

Scrambling out of bed we found this:

101_0644

That was the most lifelike toy mouse we have ever seen.  We didn’t have the heart to tell Bella that she was tossing around a dead mouse though.  🙂

Are animals aware of their own mortality?

If you had asked me this a couple weeks ago, I would have said no.  However, I also realize that most of the pets we have had over the last 10 years, we either did not have until they died, or they were too small to have much interaction with.

Today, our pet rat of two years died.  She had cancerous growths that started earlier this summer; but over the last week we found that she was getting really, really bad; emaciated, loosing some hair, not moving much, not eating much.  We started giving her crackers with peanut butter on it for the last two days, as she would actually eat it – but would eat nothing else.

Today, when I went to give her the food, she took it, put it aside, and then dragged, and pulled her tired body down one cage flight, out onto the door and up against my chest.  She continued to start to climb up onto me, which she had no strength to do.  She hasn’t tried to climb out onto me in a long time.  But today, despite almost no strength she made the unbelievable effort, and she was determined.

I helped her up onto my shoulder which was her final aim; and she tried to climb into my shirt, as she had always done as a baby rat.  I couldn’t let her into my shirt, because she was very sickly and it kind of grossed me out.  However, I stood there for about 15 minutes petting her.  And she started to brux – a sound rats make when they are very happy – they grind their teeth together.  Eventually she stopped bruxing, until Donovan came back over, and started petting her, and she started bruxing again. 

Donovan was upset because she seemed to be crying – he was right – either it was the amount of effort she put into climbing on me, or she was actually crying.  After she got on my shoulder she sat there for a short while, and tears started to come from her eyes – but just a short while later, her eyes were dry again.

It was time for me to go back to work; but I knew she wasn’t going to last the rest of the day; Amanda held her for a while, and then let Donnie hold her.  It was unbelievable to see how calm she was (apart from her very labored breathing) once she got into our arms.

I let Amanda know that she should have the kids say goodbye, and a short while later, stormy died in Donnie’s lap.

The kids of course are devastated; they have never experienced death for something they were very close to.  Amanda told Braeden that we would bury her and she would turn into a flower.  Braeden kept saying to me, “Papa, I don’t want a flower, I want stormy” – a couple times he said “Papa, can’t we pray to God and ask Him to give stormy back to us” – “I know God can bring stormy back, why don’t we just ask”. 

Wow – it was really hard as a father to experience the sorrow of my children from their lost…

But Stormy’s death had a profound impact on me; she knew she was dying and she wanted to spend her last moments with her family – rather than in her cage… profound….

Christmas Irony

There is nothing that brings out my nature as a fallen human more than being dragged out shopping around Christmas time.  If you want to cure a humanist – send them Christmas shopping with me.  It becomes very obvious very quickly that I’m not “inherently good”.

And that’s the most ironic part of Christmas, I think.  The weeks leading up to the celebration of the birth of our Lord, seems to make the most obvious, exactly why I need a savior.  

I think I just heard an amen coming from at least one other person in the crowd… it must have been another Logiodice.