I have no idea what I expect father’s day to be like; but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t be like this years… 

Our kids woke us up fighting and arguing with each other around 5:30 in the morning.  Stupid things, dumb things, the most ridiculous things that they argue about, so I started my day with a little less than 5 hours of sleep (in truth i kind of dozed in and out from 5:30-7:30, so I may have gotten about 6 hours of sleep).  I don’t function really well on less than 7.5 hours of sleep.  So I’ve been kind of dragging all day, ready to fall asleep, can’t barely keep my eyes open.

I also have such a hard time when being amazed at how American my children are in their safe and comfortable homes, all the food they can eat (and snub their noses at), all the things they have and take for granted. 

I can’t fault my children for having such cushy and safe lives; I’m glad they have them, but I wish, I sure wish that when they sat down to pray for their food, they truly knew how thankful they should be that they had so much to choose from.  I wish they knew how lucky they are to be able to go to the doctors every time their ‘tummy hurts’; and know that they can get the best medicine that civilization has to offer them…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be in a part of the world where I can give my children these things, but, I wish there was someway that they could see how really blessed they are, without them having to go without… it’s funny (ironic) how you really can’t learn appreciation for things you have except to experience their lack…  Perhaps that’s why suffering is so important…

So, I don’t fault my children for all the things they have and take for granted, but as I sat there today, eating my 15 fried clams, watching my wife eat her 13 dollar steak, watching my kids throw out their 8 dollar chicken meals, that they just decided they didn’t want after we ordered them; I was thinking about my son and daughter in Haiti much more than usual.

It’s odd, that while during the day today I was wishing that my children were somehow better behaved, and somehow more wizened in the ways of the suffering people experience in the world, so that they could be more appreciative, I probably should have spent a little bit more time, as a father, enjoying the fact that I am a father, and I do have children to annoy me, wake me up at 5:30 A.M., and fight and argue with each other.

Because all the while, as my tiredness was attributing to my frustration in how my children were acting, I was also missing Christella and Jediah something terrible. 

How can you really have a happy father’s day if all of your children aren’t around to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning, to fight and argue with each other, and to have all the healthy food they could want to eat. 

At the end of the day, I have realized, that I should have been myself more thankful today for the time that i did have with my children that are already living at home, and thank God that by the experience of the lack of having some of my children at home, he helped me realize that I need to appreciate what I do have through the sadness of the experience of what I don’t have.

Hrm… I guess being so tired makes me ramble too…  but, Donovan, Braeden, Bella: Thank you for being my children – even with all of your humanity and child-like naivety, and Christella and Jediah, I miss you guys so much, and look forward to the time when we will all be together.

On a couple of our plane trips down and back from Haiti the captain’s let Donovan sit in the cockpit and play with the flight controls… I’m like “Don’t touch anything” and they’re like “Everything is turned off, he is fine, take the stick”… One of the times, the captain is like, “Look, the plane can talk to me”, and he ran a pre-flight certification diagnostic, and the plane came back and said something like “Error, not all systems are certified for flight” and the captain said “Uh, oh, that’s not good”.  I assume they had it fixed, there were no flight tragedies that day.

Speaking of flight tragedy, I am getting slightly better on a Plane, although I still sit there and imagine what it’s going to be like to die in a plane crash – I can’t help it.  And somehow, both trips we have taken have been surrounded by tragedies. 

The last time we went there was the NJ crash that killed everyone on board, this time, a couple days after we got back there was the Air France tragedy that killed everyone on board.

Just as I was starting to get used to the idea of flying, I’m reminded how unsafe it really is… and the worst part, due to the fickle nature of politics and governmental paperwork, I am probably going to have to fly back down to Haiti later this year to submit my I 600 in person. =\

This past week we were blessed and reminded of the scarcity and sanctity of life. 

As I previously mentioned our daughter was diagnosed with a Heart arrhythmia, but they had no idea how severe or mild it was.  But knowing how worried we were Chris & Junior did an amazing job squeezing us into the Cardiologist before we flew out on Monday morning (despite the torrential downpours and the 2-3 feet of rivers blasting through the streets).

So, I can tell you that doctors in Haiti work much differently than in the U.S.  The doctors there keep open hours, even with 3 million some odd people – you don’t make an appointment, you just show up.

We showed up, and waited about 5 minutes, the doctors brought us in, got a little bit of the background story, talked to Christella in French (I didn’t know she knew French too) – and then placed her up on the table. 

He at first said “Oh, yes, I can hear it, it’s very distinguished”, then as tears welled up in my eyes he stated “There is nothing congenital, she has a slight murmur probably do to her severe malnutrition or anemia”.  He video taped it, wrote a report and handed it to us all in 20 minutes, costing $75 U.S.  The tears of joy that even now fall thinking how blessed we and she are that there was nothing seriously wrong.

And that very weekend, at home, my father had a stroke, which we didn’t find out until we returned home.  He seems to be doing ok, a lot of weakness, some confusion, but otherwise, nothing to serious (we think).  They’ve done MRIs, brain scans, chest xRays, echo Cardiograms, taking hours at a time, and days to get in, costing thousands and thousands of dollars… but we really haven’t heard the results of everything yet.

Apart from the reflection of the differences in the medicine (even though it is scarce) in Haiti, with the U.S. – it all just reminds me of how little holds us within the embrace of life from the clutches of death. 

One thing that I LOVE about going to Haiti is through the vast array of business, the University, Leadership development, house chores, work; it really forces you to come back and realize that as short as life really is on this earth, everything should funnel to a point.  Everything I do, everything, should be to support and love and care for mankind rising up to an ultimate love and responsibility to my family, and all I do for my family should be to God’s glory.

If at any time, I find that the all the support mechanisms I have for that triad (People, Family, God) are getting in the way, I need to step back and take a breather.  In the end, it doesn’t matter how smart I become, how many degrees I have, how much money I can make, or how much respect in my field I can earn:  People: that is where the true investment is.

Senyè a bay! Senyè a pran! Lwanj pou Senyè a!