You too now begin to be a magician
When playing chess, there is one ultimate piece on the board… one thing that you focus all your energies on, one thing that you would sacrifice everything for.
That is the king.
There might be two Kings on the board, but YOUR King is the King of Kings.
If you want to be successful, you ned to focus on the King!
© 2012 Jediah Logiodice
I am two days away from stepping into a position as the first of my immediate family to have completed a Bachelor’s degree.
I have loved learning since the first moment I came into my awareness as a sentient being. I seek understanding; I court knowledge as a lover, and exalt wisdom as a best friend. I live to the maxim of Socrates understanding, that the unexamined life is indeed not worth living.
This university, Capella University, and my professors over the last four years have brought and laid before my feet the gift of knowledge; but laying in there, and not handing it to me. Acting, more properly in description as a road sign, standing and pointing the way, but never offering what I would not myself take. And so I have taken hold of the direction, I have mothered it, I have caressed and succored it, allowed it to germinate inside of me, with enthusiasm, with determination, with distinction.
Every class I have digested, every person I have met, are now entwined into my experiences of life; my soul – if you will. From the amazement of the exterior world as far reaching as astronomy can unveil, to the wonderment of the internal world full of philosophical debate and psychological prose.
I have sat on the deathbed with Ivan Ilyich, and have peered into the mind of hallucinogenic madness working with discrete math, I have been pulled, and I have stretched like taffy in the maker’s hands. I am new.
I have learned, as penultimate in my undertaking of life, that it is within me and of myself to accomplish anything I am willing to work for – and the same for you! Time is my only enemy.
While in the presence of a Holy God, the weight of conviction over the last weeks thoughts and actions is almost unbearable;, but never so heavy to overcome the overwhelming warmth of unconditional love that His presence and His people bring. There is no place I’d rather be here on earth.
Yesterday I set up a merchant account, today I started advertising on Facebook. A short while ago I applied for a provisional patent, and now I’m dusting off my merchant taxid for the state. Don’t forget trying to keep Amanda’s head on straight. As much artistic talent as she has, she has no business sense at all!
Updated web pages, Facebook pages, marketing, merchandising, and product and trending analysis. Wow! So much work to sell such a little product.
So a public school teacher told me this afternoon that in thirteen years of teaching, she had never had a child illustrate a picture book the way my son had, so it had upset her, and she wouldn’t tolerate it. I let her know that in thirteen years, she has never had a child as amazing as my son, end of story.
Here is a little more detail:
The teacher drew pictures of Santa, and he was supposed to write the story behind it.
He started off with Santa not wanting to get up, so a bear hit him over the head with a bell (instead of ringing the bell while standing over him). Then they tried to steal his pants (instead of helping him get his pants on). Next, the reindeer chased Santa, and a dog tried to eat the reindeer, and Santa crashed his sled, got stuck in a chimney and went to jail for trespassing.
All very appropriate to the pictures (if you were to see them) – but none of them fitting the "perfect sheep like mold" setup by public schools. The teacher tried to tell me that it was violent, and tried to use the fact that she had never had a child in thirteen years, teaching 3 sets of students each year, ever write a story like that, and she was deeply disturbed.
Her version of "creative" was when one child said that Santa had to say "Ho Ho Ho" three times before he did anything. I’m thinking that OCD is not creative, it’s a disease – and was left pondering what a sad existence she must have to think that "Ho Ho Ho" is creative, and think my son’s creativity "disturbing". I made sure to point out what a tragedy it was that she never had a child as creative as my son.
I then proceeded to ask her if she lived in the same world that I live in, if she had ever watched the loony toons, and finished my diatribe by letting her know, that without any question, the one thing I will not let public school do to any of my children is to file them into round pegs and strip them of their creativity and their identity.
Other than that though; the school system as a whole is doing very well to help him work through his anxiety, hyperactivity, and boredom regarding the pace of going to public school. They have definitely been willing to work with him at his own pace on some of the issues that he does need to work on, so I have to give them the level of appreciation that is due.
But dampening his creativity, and molding his identity into what they think a "good little child" should be, is something that I will never let happen! Ever!
over the last two weeks, I have been on vacation. Over the last two weeks, I have been too sick to do much outside of the house. One thing, however, we have done, is we have watched the Star Wars movies from beginning to end (most of my children and myself). I have always wanted to do that – but have never really had the time.
It was a great opportunity to spend a little quiet time with my children, for the oldest, it also provided some prompts for him to ask some of those more basic questions of life.
I haven’t watched Star Wars in a long, long time; and for one, I am so glad that the first three were made, as they provide so much important insight. It always felt like the last three were not complete. Who was Darth Vader, what happened to him, why had he turned to the dark side.
As we sat and watched the movie together, the feelings it stirred up had quite an impact on me. I could totally see what happened to Anakin, I could even, in my own mind experience it. I have had things in this life that were so precious to me that I would do anything to keep them, anything. As Yoda said however, greed leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side of the force.
Anakin was so wrapped up in what he wanted, that he didn’t take the time to experience what he had. He was so consumed that it blinded him, and eventually, he himself caused what he was trying so hard to prevent – and then, he lost hope.
“But”, Donovan said to me, “It’s never too late to change”. Unfortunately, it’s much easier to see that from the outside looking in. However, Anakin took his path from innocence, to evil, and in the end, through acts of selflessness by someone else who cared enough for him to give up their own life; he was redeemed.
How much that touches on my heart, as I have experienced that; in fact, I experience that almost every day – it’s like a mini-journey. My children will too.
To often my heart can grow hard, and calloused, and there are things I want, and I’ll work for them at any cost, all the while neglecting those things that are most precious to me. And then, to gain those things most precious to me back, often takes more than I can muster in my own strength.
I am so thankful for the reminder that in the end, there is someone that is willing to help us, and with that help, we are then enabled to choose the good side of the force, to throw off the bondage of the dark side, and to seek redemption.
It was like watching a movie about my own life, just as my namesake – Darth Jedi – a precarious balance between the good side and the dark side. How Epic!
Not that I should expect anything different, but it’s funny, when you have plenty of money to spare, the credit card companies are like leeches, everyone is sending you offers and trying to woo you into a relationship.
When they start seeing that money drying up (the 2010 expenses have been unbelievable after depleting storage of excess for the adoptions) – they are like rats abandoning a sinking ship.
Over the last two months we’ve had credit card companies close accounts and reduce balances all without prior-notification – to the point of causing me to have to make unexpected $500-600 payments on a single card as it’s available balance was reduced by a couple hundred dollars.
With other cards, now that we have balances for the first time, they are sending us balance transfer offers with very fine print stating that you will start paying off your lower interest balances first before your higher interest balances. So they are throwing out offers of lower interest so-as to get us to pile on lower interest loans onto higher interest loans; so they can compound interest. The most obvious is when you have credit cards from the same company, same credit line, etc. and they give you low interest balance transfers for the accounts that carry a balance but not for accounts that do not carry a balance. Worst part is, most people don’t realize this is what they’re doing. Sleeze balls!
Little do they know that this is one of the ways I weed out the good card companies from the bad… that in a few months I will pay off and close the accounts that tried to screw me over, and no longer feed them the excessive amounts of money with each swipe at the gas station or the grocery store.
However, it’s always nice to remember that credit card companies are the equivalent of bottom feeding, blood sucking leeches & rats. They should come with a warning label (Note: we will be here for your convenience, but don’t turn your back as we’ll take every opportunity to try and screw you if it looks like we can).
C’est la vie!
Today, I was awoken by my children,
Screaming, yelling and hitting each other.
But far too many children have been silenced,
Far too many parents wake up to the nightmare of longing for
What was lost.
Today, I winced as I climbed out of bed.
My back was sore and my head stuffed with a cold of pure agony.
But reading the prayer requests from church,
there are far too many people who likely wake up and long for
my aches and pains.
Today, we had to go grab groceries (again).
I realized that the dwindling money and rising bills cannot be escaped.
But I remembered bringing turkeys to the food banks yesterday.
There are far too many families who can’t
Go and get groceries.
Today, the calendar glared at me relentlessly.
I know that my vacation was over before it even started, and work comes in three days.
But millions of people have no jobs,
While some might be lazy, or unskilled, or uncaring, too many
Are just like me.
Today, I am thankful for all I have, and all I have been given,
The aches, and pains, and worries, and problems, and suffering and sadness
Because I can’t truly see what I have to be thankful for
Until I have experienced life face-to-face: Nor can you.
Not until we have faces.
© 2010 Jediah Logiodice