"You too now begin to be a magician"
It’s been two weeks since we have talked to our children in Haiti – we got the call today; the weather was really bad; so we weren’t able to talk very long, but it’s so great to see their little faces!
David’s ears are all better, and Christella has finally been able to move up with the big girls… she is growing up so fast!
I think everyone has something that they absolutely detest; something they find ugly, dirty, disgusting and abhorrent. For me – it’s door-to-door salesmen. I mean; I have low respect for salesmen to begin with; they prey, they con, they connive, the lie, they deceive; but to do it in MY home, I will not tolerate it.
That being said; I am usually just a few steps away from being out-right rude to people that show up on my door step and want to sell me something, however, the other day, a young man, whom I have known since he was born, and who has been struggling to get a job for a long, long time, called me to tell me that he was going to start selling Areus air sanitizer equipment, and asked if he could come to my house and show it to me.
My response to him was that I wasn’t interested in the product, but I would be willing for him to show up and give me a demo so that he would get credit for it and have a little practice. He didn’t give me an exact date and time, but said he would be calling.
On Thursday evening, he called, we were going to go out, but decided to stay around and let him come over and give his demo. My wife had changed into her pajamas, and we were expecting him to show up around 8:00, like we agreed.
When he showed up on my doorstep though, he had brought some other salesmen with him. Needless to say I was very angry – I wouldn’t let these sleazy people in my house to sell me something, ever. Don’t get me wrong, as a person, I’m sure this guy is great, he probably has a family that he wants to support, he probably is a great father, a son, a friend, but I would have more respect for him as a professional if he was a crack dealer. And here he was, standing at my door step, expecting to be let in.
I had to let him in, I already agreed to the demo; but I was quite cold, probably quite rude at that, and I calmly told this young man that I was going to have a talk with him after, because he knew that I stressed that I would never let anyone else in my house, he knew that I stressed that I was doing it only for HIS benefit, so he could practice, and yet, he failed to mention that he was going to be bringing a salesmen for the company with him.
So, this salesmen proceeded to (like most house-to-house salesmen) insult my intelligence, insult my home, insult my family, and just act like a regular all around prick. He informed me that the central circulation system I paid to have designed and installed into my brand new home was broken and he wouldn’t live in my house breathing the air in my house, “but if I didn’t care about what we breath, then that’s up to me”.
In the end, I was ready to throw him out, and throw this young man out too, as he proceeded to tell me that this 2-bit salesmen obviously new more than I did about the quality of my home and air, and knew more about the health and safety of my family then I did, and he proceeded to tell me that he felt so sure that it was all true because someone else had already bought one (great for someone else!) [here is where I roll my eyes].
Incidentally, my wife ran a few tests in between the regurgitation of made up and slanted statistics, and our system made a 200 point difference on my entire house in about 10 minutes, and his system made a 500 point difference in a small 9×12 room in about a half an hour – clearly, my system is designed well for my entire home. Additionally, he pointed out that he has seen houses that are 200 times ‘worse’ than mine, and my house was only a couple hundred points higher than outside, and yet he continued to proclaim that we were breathing in poisons that were going to KILL US – but that’s not the point; obviously these door-to-door salesmen hoc products that are cheap to make, and appear like great deals, but the audacity and priggish stupidity just amazes me.
And of course, the whole time he was running his mouth about how dangerous house hold air is; alls I kept thinking was that I wanted to send this guy to Haiti for just a few minutes. How vain and stuck on himself, as he is running around and trying to get people to spend 500$-1500$ on these air purifiers because there is tons of ‘dust mites’ in the air in people’s homes, when there are places in the world where breathing the air is like smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day.
I will not, ever, allow one of these people into my house again.
Sometimes it seems (more often than not) it seems like all the time & money & energy is for nothing… We have consistently gone over and beyond getting every single piece of the process done that we had control over as soon as possible; finding the best lawyer there was to offer, making trip after trip out of state, for single pieces of paper, throwing every resource that God has given to us into the battle for our children’s lives & safety…
When I sit back and think about it, I’m really depressed thinking about how I haven’t spent more than a day or so with my family here in Maine on vacation since we started our adoption… every time I take vacation it’s to run to another state to do paperwork, or fly to Haiti… I keep telling myself (because I know it’s true) that when the children come home, it’ll all be worth it.
But we’re going on 9 months into the process… and we’ve been done what we needed to get done (except a couple small papers) since month 3… and I just found out today that there is a possibility that my upcoming trip to Haiti has a high probability of accomplishing nothing (even though it is taking my final full week of vacation I have available, and going to cost a large sum of money, I don’t technically have).
Sometimes it seems like the harder we try the more that gets put in our way… I can say that so far God has overcome all of our obstacles… and the simple little faith that I have tells me He will continue to do so; for His glory… but why am I still having such a hard time letting go and giving it to Him.
Today i stepped in a tar-pit and I’m sinking fast…
Ok: I’m not much of a sappy tell the world about my problems kind of blogger… but hey, every once in a while might not be that bad…
Sadness crept in unexpected and somewhat overwhelming when I realized yesterday that this coming week is the family visit as H.I.S. Home for Children.
So far this year, we have gone on every visit (Feb. and May) – but it just wasn’t financially feasible to make the international trip again in August. I’m going to have to go back down sometime soon for paperwork; the plane trip is usually only about 400-500$ a person; but then there is the cost of staying in a hotel for a week and a half – and eating out for a week and a half… overall our trips have been averaging about $3500.
You’d think that hotels and food in a third world country would be cheaper – but they aren’t… that’s wicked sad when you think about it – because the average income for the small percentage of people (and we’re talking like %50) that actually have jobs is like $5 a day, and for us to eat in Haiti at it’s cheapest was probably $25 dollars a day per person, of course, we were eating like American’s not like Haitians.
The sadness comes from the realization of how long it’s been since we have held our children; and the sadness is mixed with loving jealousy of the other families that are going to get to spend a week and a half with their children.
So far this year; the time has flown by so fast; it’s hard to believe that it’s been over 8 months since we’ve started our adoption process; but it’s been over three months since we have gotten to see our children in person; and it’s heartbreaking.
🙁
Within cyberspace where people roam with little to no immediate governing restrictions, how does one impress on the youth and young adults that are developing their moral compass what is acceptable from a moral and ethical perspective?
Nancy Willard points out in her article Moral Development in the Information Age that the framework of the Internet has been designed such that it is disconnected and decentralized. As a result; no one agency can effectively police and dictate morality and ethical responsibility, therefore decisions are widely left up to individuals (Willard, 1997).
Because of four key factors that Willard points out in her article, namely: a) Lack of affective feedback; b) reduced fear of risk of detection; c) New environment requires new rules; and d) perceptions of social injustice (Willard, 1997), it seems that it is difficult for individuals to make the transition between the “real world” and the “digital world”. And because morality and ethics in cyberspace are driven mainly off of individual decisions, it becomes even more paramount that these issues be address during the growth and development of today’s youth (Willard, 1997).
As a result; I believe that first and foremost in order to expand morality and ethics into the Information Age, there must be an agreement to the ideals of universal propositions, like those defined by Turiel: concepts of Justice, rights and welfare (Willard, 1997).
Apart from this central foundation, according to further studies by Hoffman and Baumrind, in order to teach internalized moral responsibility, it is imperative that parents, teachers and other influential men and women begin to help children and young adults focus on the consequences of their actions based on these universals, rather than focusing on the responsibility to follow a set of rules (Willard, 1997).
By means of this approach, we prepare the future generation to mature in their own idealizations of what is morally acceptable and unacceptable even in a world where boundaries are largely determined by individualistic principles (Willard, 1997), and where unexplored moral challenges present themselves frequently.
Willard, N. (1997). Moral Development in the Information Age. Retrieved July 30, 2009, from http://tigger.uic.edu/~lnucci/MoralEd/articles/willard.html
We received our paperwork from our lawyer today; translated into French and they did an amazing job; I guess you do get what you pay for.
Now we need to get to Boston in the next couple days, get the papers signed, and overnight them back to our lawyer so that he can get them into MOFA so we can finalize our Haitian approval to adopt.
We continue to pray and hope that things in Haiti will go smoother with our children and their paperwork – last we heard, we’re still in a holding pattern.. we need to call and find out if Christella’s uncle showed up after 5 months…
I guess this seems like a common thing; perhaps her uncle after seeing that she did not die, and is being taken care of no longer feels the urgency in finding her a home; perhaps something happened to him, perhaps he has just not been able to afford the time and money to come into Port Au Prince… either way; we can’t do much until some decision is made on how to proceed next…
I need to fly down to Haiti again soon too, so I can submit the children’s paperwork under the Adjudicate Orphan First program…
On this rainy Saturday afternoon, I decided to blog something from our Haiti trip. This is just a quick video snippet – not much here – but plenty more where this one came from.
Like so many other things in Haiti, when you get in a vehicle it is obvious that you are putting your life in God’s hands. No real speed limits; hardly any traffic signs, road signs; the only real law seems to be “honk before you hit someone or something, or it is your fault”.
Driving in Haiti, you cram 2-3 times as many people in the vehicles as the vehicle was intended to hold; no seat belts of course; no emissions regulations either – so you’re breathing thick black air poisonous air, your hair and skin is covered in dust and powdery black substances (soot?) when you get to your destination.
The roads are very adventurous though; huge potholes, stream beds, etc.
So… why could we only fit 25 people in a 14 seat van? See below for the answer!
We rented a cottage out in Belfast, froze to death sleeping about 100 feet from the ocean (probably about 50 degrees with all the windows down in the cottage); unfortunately; the tide didn’t come until after we were asleep, and didn’t go out until after we had left, so we weren’t able to have an evening serenade. The moon on the ocean on the other hand was absolutely beautiful… although I’m still waiting for Amanda to give me a copy of the pictures.
We also jumped on a lobster boat for a couple hours in the afternoon; we all came back well-done; but the sea breeze, the smell of fish, and the wide open space of the ocean was very much enjoyed.
I thought a lot about Christella and Jediah and how they will take to all of the adventures that we get to have in this country of plenty. For them, an adventure is going to the supermarket…
I almost tried to attempt the very tip of Maiden’s Cliff again with the family; but being that it has rained for almost 3 weeks straight, I assumed it would still be as soggy and buggy as it was two weeks ago when we attempted it.
Here are a couple pictures I had taken, although my Saga severely over-exposes pictures apparently.