Category: diary

Wow God!

My new mantra must become “Less of self and more of you Lord!”.

God seems to delight (for our own good I must admit) in placing us in a position where we have exhausted all human possibilities; and therefore divine intervention is all that is left; take for example, my day today.

We received our completed dossier from our lawyer and friend Clifford Knaggs, however, USPS is like a turtle, and it took 3 days for it to be shipped to us. 

Clifford is going to Haiti next week; and if we wanted to get our paperwork submitted to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs with the rest of his current clients, we had to have our paperwork sealed by the Haitian Consulate before he left, giving him ample time to review the documents one last time.

So this morning we got up and waited to call the Consulate when they opened up.  They informed us that if we could be there by noon they could get our paperwork done for us today.

Boston is almost a 3.5 hour trip for us; and by the time I wrapped up what I was working on at work, and the kids were ready it was already almost 10.  We were now scheduled to arrive a little after 1 – but calling the consulate they said 1 was ok.

We got in the car and raced away.  On the way though we realized that we needed to get money out of our bank TD Bank north; so we had  stop and find a bank to get a money order.

Back in the car, we now realized that our Tom Tom said that we wouldn’t arrive in Boston until 2 o’clock.  The Consulate closes at three.  We knew that if we didn’t get the paperwork sealed today, and overnight shipped back to Clifford, there was very little chance that we would get into MOFA within the next month or two.

We were hungry, thirsty and already tired and very much stressed, and this extra revelation that we were probably not going to make it was so very frustrating and overwhelming.

You see, we have been doing absolutely everything we can in regards to time and money and effort to make our paperwork go as quickly as possible.  As an example; we took our 2 week Christmas vacation to complete our home study – what usually takes people a couple months to complete.  We’ve made numerous trips to Portland, and Boston and Connecticut and even Haiti just to try and get a few papers signed in person as quickly as possible.  We’ve paid for the best possible resources to help us work through this whole process (and it’s come at a high cost).  We’ve spent almost every ounce of vacation this year working on processing our adoption as quickly as possible, because we ache to have our children come home.  And yet, even with all of that; it is going on 8 months that we started our paperwork – we want our children home with us… it’s heartbreaking.  🙁

So, as we drove down the road today, realizing that there was a high possibility that we had another few months to go before we could get into the legal system in Haiti, Amanda began to weep; and I was choking back tears of my own. 

And at that moment, I said to God; “God, I feel assured that this is your plan for us, that you have asked us to do this, that you are with us.  Therefore, I know that everything that happens, happens for a reason.  I’m asking you, please, let this fall together, so we can continue to move ahead, but I accept your will.”

Little did I know, that through her tears, Amanda was saying the same thing.

And then, I noticed this little car that we had already passed once, that we began passing again (because it had a cross hanging in the rear view mirror).  And this time, for whatever reason, I took a closer look at this car; and on the back bumper there was a sticker that read: “DO NOT WORRY; GOD IS IN CONTROL”.  It’s like I wasn’t paying attention enough the first time, I hadn’t gotten the point; so God was giving me another chance.

Amanda and I both saw this; like a clear voice out of heaven, he wiped away our anxieties.

In Boston we were stuck in stupid ridiculous traffic; and got to the Consulate at about 2:15, and yet, they still agreed to do our paperwork for us!!

Also, we had been fretting about finding our TD Banknorth bank, and a FedEx to ship out the paperwork; and lo-and-behold; there was a TD Banknorth right next to the consulate and a FedEx right next to that (even though TD Bank told us there was no TD Bank in Boston… go figure).  It was like God was reminding us that He doesn’t send his workers out unprepared; that when He asks of us, He will provide.  I’ve read many books about people with the faith to know and accept this, people that would have drove right into Boston knowing that God would provide.  I don’t have that faith yet – Lord, increase my faith!

 

So, after dropping Amanda off and driving around for almost an hour; I found a parking space; and took the children into the Consulate.  They wouldn’t let me in at the front door, because it was 3:05.  However, after a call to Amanda, the Vice Consulate called and asked the front door to let us up. I got to meet and talk with the Vice Consulate General of Haiti Mr. Jean Joseph Leandre, what a nice fellow, and what an honor.

As we were leaving though, I decided to review our paperwork and found there was one piece of paper the Consulate office wouldn’t stamp because it was sealed in Florida, and convention said that we should have the Miami Consulate stamp that paper; although the Miami Consulate told Clifford that we could have it done in Boston, the Boston Consulate was not willing to do it – stating that it just wouldn’t be proper to step on Miami’s toes.

I called Clifford; who asked to speak to the ladies in the office; after some time of chatting, they handed the phone back to me and Clifford said they had agreed to do it.  Clifford is awesome!  Thank you ladies!

So we ran over to FedEx and got the papers in the mail for a 10am delivery (that’s about 9 hours from now). 

It seems like God continues to do this to us – perhaps if we learned our lesson, He wouldn’t have to.  He keeps putting us in these impossible situations, I think to make us realize that He is in control, not us; that if we do what He asks of us, but rely on Him to complete what He has started, that we wouldn’t have to feel like it all rests on our shoulder’s – that He would show that He is God, and will glorify His name.

Thank you Lord for once again reminding me.  Don’t worry, You are in control!

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God (Mat 5:3, TM).

Benediksyon pou moun ki konnen se pòv yo ye devan Bondye, paske peyi Wa ki nan syèl la, se pou yo li ye. (Mat 5:3, BibLa)

A little rain goes a long way in Port Au Prince Haiti

 

It seemed to rain almost every day in Port Au Prince, Haiti when we were there in May, 2009. Most of the time that we were out driving in the rain there was no way for me to video it; however, our friends Ernie and Wayne who were also in Haiti at the same time did get a quick video. I was amazed to see people actually driving (or walking) down streets that were completely flooded out!

 

Driving in Haiti

 

On this rainy Saturday afternoon, I decided to blog something from our Haiti trip.  This is just a quick video snippet – not much here – but plenty more where this one came from. 

 

Like so many other things in Haiti, when you get in a vehicle it is obvious that you are putting your life in God’s hands.  No real speed limits; hardly any traffic signs, road signs; the only real law seems to be “honk before you hit someone or something, or it is your fault”. 

Driving in Haiti, you cram 2-3 times as many people in the vehicles as the vehicle was intended to hold; no seat belts of course; no emissions regulations either – so you’re breathing thick black air poisonous air, your hair and skin is covered in dust and powdery black substances (soot?) when you get to your destination.

The roads are very adventurous though; huge potholes, stream beds, etc. 

 

So… why could we only fit 25 people in a 14 seat van?  See below for the answer!

Digital Rights Management… who should be protected?

I received an email from Amazon this evening saying they were refunding a series of books I had purchased by George Orwell on the Kindle.

I called them to ask them why they were refunding the books; because I had never requested the refund.

They responded in saying that they were very sorry, they had no idea why the books were being refunded, but they needed to remove them off my kindle.

I told the representative that I wasn’t so much concerned about the book & the money; I knew I could buy it again in other formats; but I was definitely concerned about the fact that Amazon at any time could decide to remove books that I had purchased off of my kindle; and they’re only requirement was to refund my money (did they really even have to do that?).

What happens when the government decides to outlaw certain books; or certain publishers decide that they want to pull all books of the book shelf (like Oceania in 1984, many organizations have done this in the recent past to erase and rewrite their own history).

This is why I have no problem circumventing DRM (when possible).  I bought the book; I own the book.  Amazon should have no ability to “steal” my purchased book back from me; even if they wanted to refund my money.

The world is a changing place… prepare yourself!

The lament of a teacher

 

It used to be that presentations given to students enjoyed the warmth and camaraderie of poorly designed jokes that you had to be there to get, slaps on the back, hand shakes, and face to face jesting – however, today in an age of electronic bits and bytes, presentations are nothing but dead, cold bits of photons that get moved around by button clicks and emails…

We went Lobstahing yesterday…

We rented a cottage out in Belfast, froze to death sleeping about 100 feet from the ocean (probably about 50 degrees with all the windows down in the cottage); unfortunately; the tide didn’t come until after we were asleep, and didn’t go out until after we had left, so we weren’t able to have an evening serenade.  The moon on the ocean on the other hand was absolutely beautiful… although I’m still waiting for Amanda to give me a copy of the pictures.

We also jumped on a lobster boat for a couple hours in the afternoon; we all came back well-done; but the sea breeze, the smell of fish, and the wide open space of the ocean was very much enjoyed.

I thought a lot about Christella and Jediah and how they will take to all of the adventures that we get to have in this country of plenty.  For them, an adventure is going to the supermarket…

I almost tried to attempt the very tip of Maiden’s Cliff again with the family; but being that it has rained for almost 3 weeks straight, I assumed it would still be as soggy and buggy as it was two weeks ago when we attempted it.

 

SAMSUNG SAGA 027 SAMSUNG SAGA 023 SAMSUNG SAGA 024 SAMSUNG SAGA 025

Here are a couple pictures I had taken, although my Saga severely over-exposes pictures apparently.

Why Missions work is so enthralling to me…

In the past two months I have read 9 books; 8 of which have been books on missions:

  • Lords of the Earth
  • Peace Child
  • Eternity In their Hearts
  • Bruchko: The Astonishing True Story Of A Nineteen-Year-Old’s…
  • Mountains Beyond Mountains
  • Through Gates of Splendor
  • End of the Spear
  • Let the Nations Be Glad

I have been amazed at the dedication and willingness of the men and women discussed in these books to put their own comfort aside and subjugate their bodies into the harsh realities of Stone-Age tribal living, willingly and selflessly for the love of people they have never met, people that don’t understand that love and sacrifice, people who often only know hatred and fear and killing, people that in many cases kill those brining the gospel of the good news. 

Add to that the lack of want for revenge of deaths, how the families just get up and carry on, once again trying to reach the stone age tribes that have tried to kill them, or have successfully killed spouses or children – it’s humbling and convicting.  They truly understand Matt 10:39:

“If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.”

But tonight, while talking with a friend, I realized there was even more to it that I found so enthralling.  I thought I would share some of my thoughts that I shared with him during our discussion on why missions work is so enthralling to me…

“I watched the EE TAOW video you referenced [on youtube]; it was pretty amazing.  Growing up in a Christian family (and in some ways, I’m sure not complaining), however, I missed out on the amazing experience of reading the gospel story as an unfolding book from start to finish.  As an adult, I have read many, many life-changing books, and I can appreciate the thrill of turning the next page to find out what happens next – but the bible is truly the most amazing story ever told. 

In my early life, and in so many children and teen lives, I see that they are or have been underwhelmed with the story due to the over-indulgence of the terse repetition in a mundane and monotonous way.  When the story is not a living and breathing story, but a bedtime story used to frighten people into moral submission.

It sadly seems that in a luke-warm “Christian based” society (Of course being most familiar with western Culture, I would say especially in the western culture), there is a lot of inoculation of the gospel that occurs in young lives by the way media, technology and advancements make passé the bible stories and take awe out of the unimaginable – that story that shows how the Creator would empty himself and take on our just penalty due to us in our own bodies for our own transgressions. 

I think that is one thing that inspires me deeply when reading these books of missionaries reaching tribes that have never been exposed to the gospel – these people haven’t had their “Christian vaccination” yet. 

I think the other thing is seeing people actually put their lives and actions in line with their convictions (something I think we all continue to try and struggle to do).”

Because of my experience with my “Christian vaccination” while growing up, where I turned the bible from the living and breathing word of God into a bunch of stories used to tell us the parameters of our moral imperatives.. I have always been afraid that I would inoculate my children against the Word as I was inoculated (innocently but detrimentally).  I found that I was not really in love with the stories of the bible, but only respecting them for the knowledge that can be found within. 

In the past I’ve read the bible to be smarter, but not to live better, I’ve read the bible so that I could teach others but I did not let it’s awe and wonder sink into my own flesh and bones, but I can feel that slowly changing…

In reading these stories of the missionaries that have died for Christ, but harder still, who also lived Christ – and hearing and seeing the joy and amazement being brought to the minds and hearts of people throughout the world by the revelation made known through the Word, I’ve realized, that within the right framework of a relationship with God, instead of a series of rules that must be followed – that through reading this book myself and to my children just the opposite is what will happen. 

If this book is so precious it’s worth dying over; how much more so is it worth living over!

A day to be sad… and grateful

I have no idea what I expect father’s day to be like; but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t be like this years… 

Our kids woke us up fighting and arguing with each other around 5:30 in the morning.  Stupid things, dumb things, the most ridiculous things that they argue about, so I started my day with a little less than 5 hours of sleep (in truth i kind of dozed in and out from 5:30-7:30, so I may have gotten about 6 hours of sleep).  I don’t function really well on less than 7.5 hours of sleep.  So I’ve been kind of dragging all day, ready to fall asleep, can’t barely keep my eyes open.

I also have such a hard time when being amazed at how American my children are in their safe and comfortable homes, all the food they can eat (and snub their noses at), all the things they have and take for granted. 

I can’t fault my children for having such cushy and safe lives; I’m glad they have them, but I wish, I sure wish that when they sat down to pray for their food, they truly knew how thankful they should be that they had so much to choose from.  I wish they knew how lucky they are to be able to go to the doctors every time their ‘tummy hurts’; and know that they can get the best medicine that civilization has to offer them…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be in a part of the world where I can give my children these things, but, I wish there was someway that they could see how really blessed they are, without them having to go without… it’s funny (ironic) how you really can’t learn appreciation for things you have except to experience their lack…  Perhaps that’s why suffering is so important…

So, I don’t fault my children for all the things they have and take for granted, but as I sat there today, eating my 15 fried clams, watching my wife eat her 13 dollar steak, watching my kids throw out their 8 dollar chicken meals, that they just decided they didn’t want after we ordered them; I was thinking about my son and daughter in Haiti much more than usual.

It’s odd, that while during the day today I was wishing that my children were somehow better behaved, and somehow more wizened in the ways of the suffering people experience in the world, so that they could be more appreciative, I probably should have spent a little bit more time, as a father, enjoying the fact that I am a father, and I do have children to annoy me, wake me up at 5:30 A.M., and fight and argue with each other.

Because all the while, as my tiredness was attributing to my frustration in how my children were acting, I was also missing Christella and Jediah something terrible. 

How can you really have a happy father’s day if all of your children aren’t around to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning, to fight and argue with each other, and to have all the healthy food they could want to eat. 

At the end of the day, I have realized, that I should have been myself more thankful today for the time that i did have with my children that are already living at home, and thank God that by the experience of the lack of having some of my children at home, he helped me realize that I need to appreciate what I do have through the sadness of the experience of what I don’t have.

Hrm… I guess being so tired makes me ramble too…  but, Donovan, Braeden, Bella: Thank you for being my children – even with all of your humanity and child-like naivety, and Christella and Jediah, I miss you guys so much, and look forward to the time when we will all be together.