At the Orphanage…

Wow! I’ve never been so overwhelmed so quickly. We went to the orphanage today, and went down into the toddler room – and we were swamped by 20 some odd toddlers, saying “mamma me”, “papa, papa” and covering us, and holding upraised hands with little fingers that were flashing “pick me up, pick me up”.

Every child had to have their turn, being held by “Papa” – and for each child I picked up; I got HUGE grins, and smiles, and then I put them down and moved on to the next child.

I was overwhelmed during that time, and felt almost a little dirty because of all of the runny noses and dirty hands that I had all over me (and I’m a clean freak). But later on, as I was leaving, I was also overwhelmed with sadness, as I saw these faces starting at me from around the back yard to wave goodbye.


Many of these children are being adopted, but because of the laws of Haiti, they have been waiting SO very long, and very rarely get to actually feel the touch of their parents.

HIS Home for children was amazing; the love they are given, the care they are given, but nothing, and I mean nothing can compare to the gentle brush on a cheek from mamma or papa. I was overwhelmed with sadness as we left, and waved goodbye.

A couple of the children, one especially, who had almost died when he had first come in, and had went

and had a treatment in the states and came back HIV positive from a blood transfusion, this little boy touched my heart.

He was going around to everyone and kissing everyone, and hugging everyone. He even asked me to go around and give out kisses and hugs with him. Every time he saw me he would look up at me and give me a huge grin, because I had helped him up the stairs when we first got there and he was terrified, and then gave him a couple chocolates.

I’ve been fighting back constant tears today, realizing that we are leaving our girls in two days… I hope they understand, that they can begin to understand that if it is God’s will, that we will be back for them, as soon as we can…

Getting ready… emotionally for our trip to Haiti

One week left until we hop on a plane and fly over the entire eastern coast of the United States and land inside of Haiti.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more worried and excited all at the same time!

I have three beautiful, wonderful children here at home that I’ve never been without for more than a day. Three children that I haven’t ever spent as much time as I would like with, three children that have so much potential and possibilities and capabilities if they can grow up in a loving and caring home filled with their mother and father.

If something was to happen to us, they’ll live on, I know they will, they’ll adjust, they’ll have to, and they’ll be loved and cared for, I know they will, but it just won’t be the same for them… how would they cope, would they be raised the way we long to raise them, would they have a loving relationship with God their father? Would they blame God, and if they do, who is going to help them understand and accept His will?

And then I have two beautiful, wonderful little girls that are in Haiti. I do not know them very well, except that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of our Father and creator, that they have no home of their own, and no family of their own, and that I have this indescribable desire to love them, and hold them, and give them out of everything great and small that the Lord has given to me. And what if they lose yet another set of parents?

Would they all have the wisdom to say: “Blessed be the name of the Lord: Blessed be his name in a land that is plentiful, where the streams of abundance flow: Blessed be his name when the road’s filled with suffering, when there’s pain in the offering, Blessed be his name… He gives and takes away, but my heart will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be your name!”

While life is always on the edge, and at any moment something could happen to me or Amanda or both (may it never be), I weep for the possibility that my children could lose their parents, and also that our daughters from Haiti wouldn’t ever get to know the love that we have to offer them. The fear that no parent wants to face, and yet, it’s always there…

To leave my children without a father (or mother) would be something I hope they never have to face, but don’t misunderstand, I don’t fear for my own life (well – except that I hope I don’t go painfully ), because I truly believe for me “To live is Christ, but to die is gain…”

Lord protect us, and give us the strength to face anything you send our way!

Predators in the dark

Ok, we’ve seen them down the road before; and we’ve heard them out in the woods – and I once even witnessed a pack take down a deer a couple miles from here – but when they show up in your back yard, licking their chops (I have chickens and children) – what are you supposed to do?

They’re almost to magnificent to kill – but I think the winter kill of the deer last year was so significant that we’re likely to have a big problem with them this year….

The stork has finally showed up!


Ok, first part of this story is that I have been waiting for my chickens to lay eggs all summer…

Last Saturday I went out and found that my chickens had laid eggs! While I was surprised that the first eggs were so large, and heavy (I thought maybe they were frozen because they were in the outside chicken run instead of the inside coup) – I took it in stride and was extremely excited that I finally got eggs!

But what I came to find out is that my sadistic sister-in-law (with the help of my eager parents) came over while we were out of town the night before, picking up my broken car that had been fixed, and they placed hard-boiled eggs in my chicken coup. That explained the size & weight of the eggs… I sure would have been surprised when I went to crack them open for Sunday morning pancakes.

I’m not going to forget though; I’m not going to turn the other cheek – and when she least expects it I’m going to get her back, and get her back good…

In the mean time, I went out to the chicken coup this evening, and I have a message for her…

Hey Ellen… go suck on an Egg – in fact actually go suck two! I’ll gladly loan you slop covered eggs I took out of the coup tonight!


What I spent most of my summer doing…


I completed it last week on 10.11.2008. We ended up making the siding and door match the house. Amanda wanted to just throw up a lean-to-shack; but I didn’t want to have something so ugly sitting outside behind my house. I ended up putting in solar lights into the chicken house too – so they have light at night (hoping that once they start laying the light will keep them laying all winter).



We ended up getting one rooster in our shipment of chickens! Rooster! I thought it was just a well-endowed hen!

Family time…

I don’t usually blog for no apparent reason, but I figured I would tonight.  On Monday of this past week I went rock climbing and mountain climbing… I’m afraid of heights.. but I managed pretty well…

I got up 100 feet or so and back down – while harnessed and locked into the side of the mountain, but I was too scared to go up the other 900 or so feet, attached to nothing but a rope and a piece of metal stuck into the side of the mountain – so instead I decided to climb up the side of the mountain, almost as steep, by myself with no rope, but I had trees and roots and rocks to hold on to.

A couple times I was ready to just throw myself over the side and be done with it – but determined as I was to make it to the top – I did indeed.  Then I sat at the top of the mountain and waited to meet God in the clouds.  I could say that He never showed up, but I’m not so sure… it at least wasn’t the rapture – so, unfortunately I was stuck climbing back down the mountain again (which wasn’t as bad as I feared it was going to be).

Anyway, so then on Tuesday, we went to Story land with the kids.  I have to admit, that while I wasn’t overly impressed at the cost of story land, nor the cliché of the whole ordeal – we did have a lot of fun.  The kids actually got along and stopped fighting for like 6 hours straight, and I actually spent time with my family (without a computer or an IPOD for like 6 hours straight). 

Donovan & Braeden & Bella and I played in the ball house for like an hour, and Donnie & Braeden and I went on the roller coaster ride! 🙂  Amanda went on the crazy barn with Donnie & Brady, and we went on the teacup and floating balloon rides together as a family.  I had A LOT of fun.  I enjoyed myself.  I’m going to put pictures up on the MySpace as soon as I get them from Amanda.

Hot & Muggy

So after work today I was supposed to go work on the garden, stack some wood that I cut down & up two days ago, mow the lawn, and feed the wood stove, as well as work on homework.

It was so hot, that instead I spent two hours setting up this new blog site, went and unloaded a few rounds out of the Glock 22 & 27 with my little brother, and am now sitting at my sons computer and watching the polywogs.

Nothing very interesting happened today, really, and this is pretty boring. I think I’ll create a new blog category called “Diary”. That’s where I can put the not-so interesting stuff that probably no one would be interested in reading, unless I dropped dead.

Time to go pray with my two boys – I have a feeling that the little girl has already fell asleep…